i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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