she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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