Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
