I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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