alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
