I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
