Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
two words: eviction party
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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