is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
And then he peed in my hair
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