she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
