i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up under a house in Key West
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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