I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
