what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Randomize
