hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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