I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
