remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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