Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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