Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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