worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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