What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
