it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
