I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
