it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
