i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
