just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
