No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
