Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
