I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
