He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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