I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize