Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
