Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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