Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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