I think I died a long time ago.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
