you mean i was at the winter classic?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
