That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you never un-have a 4some
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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