But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
