covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want to have your abortion
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
