Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
