dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
