K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
