I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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