Sober January is a disaster.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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