Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
