i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
