Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
