They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
