I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
