I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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