if only i could text you this smell
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
