therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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