I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
