i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
