So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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