I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
