I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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