told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
