You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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