Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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